It’s not uncommon for me to hear from non-profit leaders that they feel they have lost their way and are somehow off track. In the busyness of the day to day, all the urgent requests, and the strategy tapping away waiting for attention they don’t know where or on what to focus their attention, and especially when it might be for them.
This isn’t surprising when you’re stretched so thin, it’s hard to give one thing enough attention, and when you jump from task to task, as you so often do, it’s even more difficult to know where to go next.
What leaders often tell me is that there feels like there is no time. Partly because of competing priorities, leaders feel like they’re being pulled in all the directions because everything is important. And because the reality is there is so much to do, but there will always be more to do. Even if you got to the end of the current to do list, there would be more added to it, leaving you in a vicious cycle. But when everything is important, it ends up meaning that nothing is, because you’re not prioritising anything, you might be clear at the start of the day about what you should be working on, and by 5pm ended up somewhere completely different.
When you work in the third sector, this makes sense when we consider what is at work psychologically. Because the work is meaningful, of course everything feels important, but it’s not just the work that matters to you, so do the needs of teams, stakeholders and beneficiaries, all of these are urgent to you in different ways. And because this type of work is tied to our sense of who we are, if we’re not immediately meeting the needs of others, or addressing things which are urgent, this can leave us with emotions and thoughts which are uncomfortable. The problem is, we’re taught at an early age that uncomfortable emotions and thoughts are something we don’t want, don’t serve a purpose, and are something we should get rid of. And so, our natural response is to behave in a way which will mean we feel better, we get caught in a cycle of trying to manage the guilt and anxiety we experience by saying yes, by switching tasks, by working harder and longer.
You’re told to set better boundaries, to say no, or to delegate more. But it’s not as easy as this, or as simple as sticking to the thing you were planning to do today. There are real risks and consequences associated with the work you do, when something urgent lands on your desk, it’s easy to get pulled into someone else’s urgency. But you can’t do everything at once, constantly jump from one task to another, or work without rest. This way of working is a surefire way to exhaust yourself, it will have a negative effect on your performance, (because you can’t think clearly when you’re working in this state), and will leave you overwhelmed, stuck and off track.
So, here’s what to do, we need to be clear about what is important in two ways; we need to see all the values which matter to us, and we need to see what is important in the moment.
Knowing our overarching values acts as a compass, it helps keep us on track both in terms of work and our life more broadly. So, if for example you’re struggling to leave at the end of the day, you’re pulled to work later, but you know it’s better for your wellbeing and relationships if you finish at a reasonable time, your values can help you here. If, for example you value making a difference, health and relationships, leaving on time aligns with all of these:
Making a difference requires you to be well rested and energised so you can problem solve, make decisions and work strategically
Health requires you to prioritise your mental and physical wellbeing
Relationships will be supported by you leaving on time and making time for these after your work day is done
The trouble is, whilst we feel like we know what matters, we’re not clear on exactly what our personal values are, especially if work is taking over. But the good news is, it’s straightforward to determine what your values are, and why they matter to you, and you can download a workbook here.
And once you’re clear on the overarching values which guide you, especially when you might feel like two are in conflict, there are a set of questions you can ask yourself to make sure you’re choosing how you respond in a situation, not led by someone else’s urgency or because you’re responding on autopilot. Here’s what you’re going to ask yourself:
Who or what really matters to you in this specific situation?
What unwanted thoughts or feelings are showing up as you try to take action in-line with this?
What do you feel like doing that would take you away from these unwanted thoughts or feelings?
What would the person you want to be do in this situation and what actions towards this could you take?
So, if we take the example above, it’s the end of the work day, there’s still things left of the to-do list, but you know you should rest or get home to see the kids, here’s how these questions might play out.
Getting some rest and re-energising so I can get through the list, and doing bedtime with the kids
I feel guilty for not finishing my work, and that I’m letting people down
I feel like staying a bit later and getting a couple more tasks done, then I won’t feel so bad
They would write a list of what they have achieved today, write a priority list for the morning so they start focussed, and leave
Now, I know you may be thinking easier said than done, especially when everything feels important, but the power here isn’t necessarily in asking these questions and leaving, the power is in that by asking these questions you pause, and you make an active decision about what you are going to do, instead of getting caught up in autopilot.
And if you want to explore this in more detail, join me for my free masterclass From Overwhelmed to Confident and In Control from 12-1pm on 4th November 2026.