We need to get honest about what resilience is and isn’t.
Today’s article is inspired by a report I read recently which was highlighting the risk of burnout in the charity sector. The report praised the resilience of those working in the sector, and they’re right to do that, those working in the charity sector are some of the most resilient people I’ve met. But when the author talked about resilience, they described their commitment to the charities, highlighting the long hours they worked, and giving their service tirelessly. I don’t know anyone who works in the sector who doesn’t behave this way or display these qualities.
But we need to be really clear, these behaviours aren’t resilience, they are a reflection of peoples’ commitment to the work, their belief in the work, and that if they don’t they’re letting their beneficiaries, their staff or the charity down. If we keep telling people that working beyond their hours and dedication to the cause are resilience, then we are setting our staff up to burnout, and we are absolving leaders and charities of the responsibility for this.
Let me explain.
We are doing the individuals who work in the charity sector a disservice by describing resilience in this way because what happens when they get to the point where they can’t carry on working like this:
What if they have responsibilities outside of work which mean they can’t work all the hours?
What if they are exhausted and can’t keep going?
What if they are so overwhelmed they can’t be resourceful?
What if they are so worn down, they can’t be hopeful about what they can achieve?
What if they can’t work tirelessly anymore?
Are they no longer dedicated? Are they not resilient enough? Not cut out for the sector anymore? This definition of resilience places the responsibility firmly in the individuals’ lap and it means people won’t ask for help for fear of being judged. They will keep their heads down, they will keep pushing through, they will say they’re ‘fine, just busy’, until they can’t anymore. And they will hold the guilt that they couldn’t do more. Instead of seeing that what was asked of them was too much, was not realistic for them to do on their own.
So, let’s be clear about what resilience is from a psychological perspective, it isn’t an ability to keep on keeping on and work through chronic stress, resilience is the ability to respond flexibly, to problem solve, and to bounce back and recover from acute moments of stress or challenges.
It’s not the ability to keep doing more and more, without rest, without recovery time, without the resources without meeting your basic needs.
What does resilience look like?
When we’re at our most resilient we:
Have good problem-solving skills. We can stay calm in a crisis, think creatively and identify solutions, and take proactive steps to solve the problem.
Manage our emotions. We can recognise our emotions, accept them, and respond without letting negative emotions take over and drive our decision making.
Draw on social networks. When we face challenges, we seek out the appropriate support
Adaptability. When circumstances change, there is a new challenge or information, we can flex in response to this and change our behaviour, and we can tolerate mistakes and see them as an opportunity for growth.
Feel optimistic. You have a sense that good things will come, that you’ll achieve your goals, and you focus on what you can control.
Have self-compassion. You know that you are doing your best, treat themselves with kindness, and know when to prioritise they’re own needs.
Signs your resilience might have been depleted
When our resilience is low we might see:
Struggle to problem solve. In the face of crisis we panic, and respond in a reactive way. We overthink small decisions, struggle to take decisions and may find ourselves procrastinating.
Emotions. We may struggle to manage our emotions, or experience big shifts in the emotions we feel, and this in turn can feel overwhelming. Alternatively, we may feel numb.
Isolate ourselves. We withdraw from our network and we don’t ask for help, partly because we may feel we’re a burden to other, worry they will think we can’t cope, or because we don’t have the energy to interact.
Rigid thinking: We struggle when plans change, hold onto routines and rules rigidly, and tend to think in terms of “either/or”.
Pessimism. We struggle to have hope that things will improve, or see that our contribution matters.
Self-critical. We start to blame ourselves, we don’t see how hard we are working, and push ourselves harder instead of allowing ourselves time to rest and recover.
Building resilience
The good news resilience isn’t something you have or don’t have, you’re not either a resilient person or not, it can be built like a muscle, but like a muscle you have to keep working it to build it.
But this isn’t an opt out for charities, individual resilience will only carry you so far, it isn’t a solution to workloads which are too high, or toxic working cultures. This means that for the charity sector, where organisations are often under resourced, the organisation needs to build a culture which supports wellbeing and resilience. Resilience training, and telling staff to have better boundaries and prioritise self-care isn’t enough.
Developing our psychological flexibility is one strategy to start building our resilience, and over the coming weeks I'll share what this is and what it looks like in practice.
And I’ll be exploring this in my next free masterclass From Overwhelmed to Confident & In control from 12-1pm on 30th September. Register here: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/2000145632429?aff=oddtdtcreator