I used to be good at this job, but now I feel guilty about everything.

You’re tired.  

Tired of always questioning yourself. Of feeling like you never get anything done. Of constantly firefighting. Of always chasing you tail. Of never getting to the strategic work you really want to be doing. Of feeling like you’re missing out at home. Of feeling pulled in all the directions. Of wondering why it feels so difficult now. Of feeling like you’re letting everyone down. Of feeling guilty all the time. 

You haven’t considered that how you feel is a normal response to the circumstances you’re working under. You’ve perhaps been working at this rate for the majority of your career, 10 extra hours a week if you’re the average charity leader. With a list of demands greater than the resources of you and your team.  

But you’ve been led to believe that this is how the charity sector is, you have to keep your head down and keep plodding along. Because it’s been another busy period, and eventually there will be time to catch up. That if you were a resilient person you wouldn’t feel like this. But you can’t out-resilience a situation like this. 

Sure there are things you can do to build your resilience, but building resilience isn’t the answer to chronic stress. 

So what’s happening? 

Finding yourself experience the chronic stress in the charity sector can lead to a host of behavioural and emotional responses which can leave you trapped in a cycle of reactive work, procrastination, and avoidance. This results in less effective work, reduced confidence and feeling like an imposter. The fact that it’s impossible to get to the end of the to do list along with your sense of responsibility for the organisation means you feel like you’re letting everyone down, and experience constant guilt. 

But this isn’t your fault! If this resonates, it’s a sign you might be on the path to burnout, and you’ve likely been doing too much, for too long without the right support. You’re getting to the point where your energy reserves are low. 

What to do? 

The suggestions I’m about to make here aren’t going to address the very real financial and resource pressures you may be facing, and I would suggest if there is a significant discrepancy between what you need to do, and your time/resources/skills you speak to your chair or line manager to establish where you focus your time and energy to prevent you burning out. 

But there are things you can do to support yourself, here are my top 6 tips: 

1. Complete the stress cycle – move you body, release the tension, talk about how you’re feeling with someone who will be supportive 

2. Boundaries might feel too big to start trying to implement, so start small by pausing before you take action – take 5 breaths and ask a question before you dive in 

3. Mindfulness may also feel too much right now, but start by noticing what you are thinking and feeling 

4. Stop beating yourself up – start talking kindly to yourself 

5. Remember what you’re good at – either make a list of your transferrable skills, or take a Strengths Assessment like VIA Character Strengths 

6. Keep a list of your achievements 

When you’re leading or running a charity its easy to push your worries and needs to the bottom of the list, after all there are so many other important things to worry about. But ultimately, if you keep ignoring your needs and your wellbeing, you could find yourself at the point of burnout, forced to stop, and not able to do the work that you love. 

So let this be a reminder, looking after you isn’t selfish, it’s essential. If you need some help working out where to start with making a change, book a call.